one funny guy I know

I had a History teacher here at BYU-H that was the single most hilarious man I've ever met.  Ok, single most hilarious man with a mustache I've ever met.  Ok Ok single most hilarious man history teacher at BYU-H with a mustache.   Professor Murdock.  If you have the chance, take his class!  You will not regret it.  I wrote down his many funny quotes in my notes but then

eventually threw the notebook away.  My dear friend Cammie, however, is much more organized and took notes on her computer.  Enjoy!

“If cockroaches were bigger, we’d all be riding them like horses. They’re actually pretty cool.”

“He was kind of a rascal. Provo student, of course.”

“Haven’t you ever had that Voldemort instinct to control and manipulate?”

“The Mongols eat meat and they’re buff. The English are wired because of their sugar consumption.”

Student: “Did you mention the disadvantages of sugar?”

Bro Murdock: “... It rots your teeth.”

“Do you see this? This is NICE armor. Not the cheap stuff you get at WalMart.”

“Anyone who has a brain could see that. ... that’s almost all of you.”

“I couldn’t even reach the light switch with all those hairy legs in the way.”

Bro Murdock: “What is this?”

Student: “A tree.”

Bro Murdock: “No it’s paint. How about this?”

Student: “That looks like a river.”

Bro Murdock: “Wow, you guys really don’t get this do you? This is paint.”

“I’m going to need more creativity than that. Exactly HOW would you assassinate him?”

*silence*

“... You guys need to watch more movies. I swear.”

“Ultranationalism is nationalism on cocaine.”

“It was called the Black Dragon Society. ... Which sounds like a badly made Hong Kong movie.”

“Why is he such a wimp? Well, his name is Neville for starters.”

“Thirteen transfers? Did you do any work at all? Or did you just ride trains the entire time you were on your mission?”

“Superpowers could not afford to fight each other directly. They could send weapons, food, Rambo...”

“Let me see your pen-- very good. If he falls asleep again, just plunge that into his pecks.”

“History without values is just trivia; It has no life- no meaning.”

LIFE IS GOOD